Picture the scene: it's been "a long lunch" on Oldham Hall Street. Alastair Machray reclines in his chair, realises that Friday's edition of the Oldham Echo needs a little more padding than those churned out during the rest of the week & attempts a little blue sky thinking. Fast forward a couple of hours & the Echo editor is stuck. Then Paddy Shennan pops his head from behind his terminal. Can I help, he enquires.
A 50 watt light bulb goes on in Alastair's head.
A few minutes later Paddy's busy at work on his latest opus, a frenetic & eager example of journalistic & civic onanism:
By now Paddy's into his stride & nothing can stop him:
"What makes Liverpool great? YOU decide! Tell us what you think are the features and factors which give the city liveability. Perhaps you'll point to the three Ls --location, location, location-- and highlight our much envied, world-famous waterfront and spectacular skyline."
Ah, yes, Paddy, you've raised a good one there. The "much envied" waterfront, where the three Gs (that's Graces, Paddy) will soon have neighbours which should be given architectural ASBOs while burger vans await passengers from near & far. And then, of course, let's not forget how our "spectacular skyline" has been augmented with high-rise developments from the neo-brutalist school of design which can't tempt the punters into them.
Paddy also mentions culture & why not? After all, last year was such a success. Wasn't it?
Yes, there's nothing to stand in the way of Paddy's panegyric to the 'Pool:
"Then again, you might love living in Liverpool simply because it has a cosmopolitan, 'world in one city' feel".
Too true, Paddy, "the world in one city", five & a half thousand of whose residents last week voted BNP.
However, even Paddy knows he has to stop, but not without a final flourish:
"Starting with 'Liverpool is a great place to live because...' simply tell us below, in no more than 50 words, why you enjoy living here so much.
"We'll print as many of them as we can."
So go on, don't be bashful, take up Paddy's invitation & briefly let him know that you enjoy living here so much because of the high-calibre, fearless investigative journalism which is synonymous with the Oldham Echo.