Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Re-Writing History

What are you doing four weeks today? In London, you say? Great! You can take your place outside Waterstone's bookstore in Picadilly, central London, to buy Tony Blair's self-justifying tome, My Journey ( ).
It's been reported that the war criminal agonised somewhat over the title for his self-proclaimed magnum opus. You can imagine the mooted titles that were kicked around among his coterie (The Chosen One, Sucking Up To Dubya, Be Grateful, You Bastards, The Gospel According To St Tony, etc.).
I would have suggested Blair steal the title of Emile Zola's classic, J'accuse, with a picture of Bush's lap-dog looking shifty & defensive. However, as you'd expect, security will be high, as Paul Owen points out in the Guardian piece. Blair won't be signing any personal dedications ("Best wishes to Osama", that sort of thing). Nor will it be permitted to have your photograph taken with him (all cameras & mobile phones must be given up prior to shaking the hand which has the blood of thousands on it; besides, under Section 44 of Tony's Terrorism Act, & as the security goons at the Oldham Echo Arena will readily attest, cameras are weapons of mass destruction).
There are more conditions attached, designed to make the supplicants who take their place in the queue ( & Blair wants you to know your place) feel that it's an audience they won't forget.
Blair's advance for the book is £4.6m. I'm sure he earned it, what with all those pens to replace & A4 sheets to buy, not to mention the odd attack of writer's cramp.
So if you're in the capital on September 8th, why not pop along & let Tony know just how grateful you are that his actions have made the world a safer place.

1 comment:

Guillaume said...

I feel your bitterness. Blair used to be a public figure I respected, until the Iraq war. He became a small, small man then and his unbearable vanity became his main trait.